Helping Families Through Medical Hardships

When Zachariah was 5 months old, he was diagnosed with Craniosynostosis.  Of course, we were terrified.  After months of appointments with different doctors and surgeons, and CT scans, our little Zac had reconstructive surgery on his skull, when he was only 10 months old.  It was by far the hardest thing Jason and I had to go through. We are so thankful that he recovered quickly.  Zac is a strong and brave little guy.

When Asher was 3 weeks old, we took him to the ER with a fever.  It took 4 days before his temperature went back down and the tests came back negative. 

We were very blessed to have friends and family help us during these tough times.  Both experiences made me realize what parents go through when their baby is sick, but most importantly, what helps most.  Since every situation is different, it's hard to know exactly what a family needs.

These are the things I would ask for again:

• Be present.  Sometimes it's nice to just have a friend close by to hug or talk to.  When Zac needed a blood transfusion, something I wasn't able to stomach, my friend was right there to hold him for me.  
• Learn about the medical issue.  This prevents asking too many questions.  Explaining the procedure over and over again doesn't make things easier. 

• Don't ask, just do.  It's easier to accept help when there's no worry about details.  Friends brought food to me, and hung around ready to help before I had to think about it.  

• Do what you can.  A lot of the time, people can't commit to anything big, so they don't do anything at all.  The truth is, every little thing is appreciated.  I was surrounded by people who all did what they could, and it helped immensely.

There are so many things that need to be done on a daily basis, in addition to what's going on at the hospital.  Sometimes it's hard to know where to start.  Here are some ideas:

• Pray.  In the Christian community, this seems obvious, but it is often forgotten at the end of the day.

• Make food.  This is usually the easiest and one of the most important.

• Watch the other kids in the family.  Depending on the children's ages they might need somewhere to sleep and someone to feed them.  The same goes for pets. 

• Clean the house.  Having a clean house to come home to is a little thing that is greatly appreciated.

• Family chores.  Laundry, lawn care and mail are all things that can pile up fast when no ones at home to do them.

• Practical gifts.  People love to give flowers or teddy bears, but comforting gifts can also be practical.  (The best gifts Zac received were; clothes that were easier to wear with his IVs.) 

• Driving.  It's so hard to focus on driving when there's a crisis at hand.

Thanks again to everyone who helped us, your support is greatly appreciated.