Connecting With My Children Through Their Love Language

Dr Gary Chapman discovered that there are Five Love Languages.  And expressing love to someone is magnified by speaking their love language.  In his book, The Five Love Languages of Children, Dr. Chapman details how to identify and speak your child's love language.

The Five Love Languages Are:

Quality Time - a child feels most loved from undivided attention.

Physical Touch - a child feels most loved from appropriate touch.
Receiving Gifts - a child feels most loved when receiving tangible gifts.
Acts of Service - a child feels most loved when something nice is done for them.

Words of Affirmation - a child feels most loved from encouragement and compliments.

When I first became a parent, I was determined to discover each of my children's love language at a young age.  A couple of years ago, when Zachariah was almost 3, I undoubtedly found out that his Love Language is words of affirmation.  He said things like 'do you like this picture I drew' and 'am I being a good boy?'  As well as complimenting someone when he had a chance.  

Knowing that he loves being complimented, I tell him how much I love him and how great he is as much as I can.  Disciplining him is also more successful when I clearly explain what he did that disappointed me.  

Recently, I discovered, Asher, my second son's love language.  Physical touch.  I could give him gifts, tell him how much I love him, make him food or spend all day playing trains with him, but nothing makes him happier then when we 'nuggle'.  He LOVES when I rub his back, twirl his hair, tickle his tummy and when we hold hands.  

When he's not feeling well or needs some attention, we snuggle with his 'night night' (blankie) and I rub his back.  I can't believe how still he sits, for a turbo powered 3-year-old.  Neither of my other children do this, even my baby has better things to do.  

I definitely recommend reading The Five Languages Of Children by Gary Chapman.  The concept is simple and worth it, but if time is in short supply, this chart is very helpful as well.

Compiled by: Busy Kids = Happy Mom